It Hurts.
2030 - 8:30pm
I am in a CyberZone - one of multiple hotspots around post, of course there is a location which exists inside of Godfather's Pizza (the reason I frequent).
My laundry is going at the laundromat next door - I'm feeling like I need a vacation. Or maybe like I need to get out of the Army. I've become more and more depressed, and the only relief I've had was when I got out and hit up that hotel room.
So my motto still exists - one step at a time. One day at a time. One little bit of each tiny piece at a time. One foot in front of the other. One stride for every little moment. And that's as far as I'm trying to think.
But I can't help but think of what happens next - I leave for home. And now I only have two weeks instead of the original four to see my mom and dad and all of my family. Two weeks to barely fit in everything that I originally had planned -- I was going to fly into Montana and hang out there for a few days before getting driven to Washington and being with Mom and Dad.
So much for all of that. My orders came down without HRAP because my original orders that I never saw weren't approved for it. So I'm no longer applicable. This limits my leave time and I'm not sure I can make it to Montana now. When I went home in December, I had promised my relatives in MT that I'd be able to visit them. When the two weeks I had then didn't give me enough time to make that happen, I assured them that I'd be able to make it there before I went to Japan. And here I am, falling back on both promises.
I can't really feel bad for what cards I've been dealt. I'm still under the impression that I'll be able to fix this... and slowly realizing that there is nothing I can do...
and it hurts.
* - * - *
PFC LaBRANT
Tread
I am in a CyberZone - one of multiple hotspots around post, of course there is a location which exists inside of Godfather's Pizza (the reason I frequent).
My laundry is going at the laundromat next door - I'm feeling like I need a vacation. Or maybe like I need to get out of the Army. I've become more and more depressed, and the only relief I've had was when I got out and hit up that hotel room.
So my motto still exists - one step at a time. One day at a time. One little bit of each tiny piece at a time. One foot in front of the other. One stride for every little moment. And that's as far as I'm trying to think.
But I can't help but think of what happens next - I leave for home. And now I only have two weeks instead of the original four to see my mom and dad and all of my family. Two weeks to barely fit in everything that I originally had planned -- I was going to fly into Montana and hang out there for a few days before getting driven to Washington and being with Mom and Dad.
So much for all of that. My orders came down without HRAP because my original orders that I never saw weren't approved for it. So I'm no longer applicable. This limits my leave time and I'm not sure I can make it to Montana now. When I went home in December, I had promised my relatives in MT that I'd be able to visit them. When the two weeks I had then didn't give me enough time to make that happen, I assured them that I'd be able to make it there before I went to Japan. And here I am, falling back on both promises.
I can't really feel bad for what cards I've been dealt. I'm still under the impression that I'll be able to fix this... and slowly realizing that there is nothing I can do...
and it hurts.
* - * - *
PFC LaBRANT
Tread
posted by Tread at 5:26 PM
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